Friday, October 7, 2011

Finally, a breakthrough!

Well, I figured out how to make Brighton into the sweetest, most helpful, loving girl in America. All I have to do is yell "S**T BALLS!" at the top of my lungs and lock myself in my bathroom for a half hour, whilst sobbing.
I should back up. It's just been one of those weeks. First off, remember how I'm pregnant? Second- it's been raining all week. Third- Aaron has worked until 8 or 9 EVERY night this week and I'm a horrible single mom. So the day was going fine. In the morning I did the quarterly changing of the kids closets where I put away all the clothes that are too small and get out all the next season's clothes that I've been stocking up on during sales. Feelin' good about my bad self. Then during Brighton's dance class I took Deacon with me to the dollar store to buy some umbrellas. My patience went down to 80% cause Deacon wanted this basketball and every time I gave it to him he did what any 18 month old boy would do. He threw it. Then some old lady told me I was stupid for continuing to give him the ball. She was right- but still! Then since I was out of the house and wearing a bra I decided to run to Old Navy to replace some tights I bought for Bright that got a hole the first time she wore them. Now- Brighton is obsessed with mannequins. All of them. She calls them her "family". So when she sees all the adorable mannequins at Old Navy she has a hay day giving them all hugs and talking to them. Everyone around her finds it adorable but it's just gotten really old for me! And yesterday since I was just going to grab the tights I decided to let Deacon walk with me. Big mistake. After trying to get Brighton away from "her family" and trying to chase Deacon around the entire store, we were quite the spectacle. At the end I was literally yelling at Brighton to "stay with me!" and trying to hold Deacon as he was trying to wiggle away and pay... patience level down to 50%... chances of someone in Old Navy calling CPS also 50%. (PS- this pic was not from yesterday. It's like a year old.)
We get home and those two trips took it out of me! So I make ramen noodles with egg for the kids and canned soup for me. We're in that phase where Deacon wants to do everything himself and eating is quite the chore. I'm trying to let him feed himself because honestly feeding babies is the worst- but he slaps his hand down in the bowl and the noodles go FLYING all over the place which he finds delightful. Then I ask Bright to put her bowl in the sink and she tries to throw it! So again... soupy eggs all over my cupboards and rugs. Patience level 30%.
Now comes the regular fights between the kids, and injuries. Brighton hits her head in the playroom and Deacon steps on a thumb tack and it goes ALL the way inside his foot. Deacon grinds a banana into the carpet and as I bend over to scrub it out my pajamas split down the middle. Great for the old self esteem. Patience level 15%.
Then as I finally sit down to try to watch Thursday shows Deacon gets a cup of water that I foolishly left on the shelf and dumps it all over me. Patience level 0% and thus the CURSE word comes flying out of my mouth and I retreat to my bathroom for a good sob.
When I came out- Brighton started cleaning her messes, giving me loves, putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, helping her brother, I've never seen her so good in my life! So if yelling S**T BALLS gets that kind of result, I might turn into a real potty mouth!