Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Another Totally Inappropriate Post

Baby-makin'... no way to really talk about it "appropriately" seeing as it involves the "S" word and that Aaron's parents probably read this blog and conceived all their children immaculately. But seriously, my parents did it at least five times (they made the sacrifice because they loved us so much). So we really love Brighton, yadda yada... want to spread the love.. yada... need more babies... but somehow it's been like 14 months and somehow (won't point any fingers, Aaron) the job isn't getting done.

Why does it seem more taboo to talk about it if it is the man's "fault". (not blaming you sweetie... ) I know that Aaron wears pink shirts and cares more about a beautiful sunset than he does about March Madness. True he likes snuggling and long walks on the beach but our Dr. has reassured us that his metro-ways are in no way related to his swimmers. (Ouch, did I just hear a shriek of disbelief coming from Arizona?) I know, it's totally inappropriate to talk about my husband's low sperm count on my blog. There. I just said it. Low. Sperm. Count. To be honest, I was flat-out relieved when I found out it was him and not me. I'm sure 20 years down the road all of Bright's crazy antics will easily be pointed in my direction, so it's nice to have some of the pressure off.

But to be serious for a sec, it seriously is a bummer. I picture all my little eggs in my little ovary basket... getting older... shriveling. And on the wall next to their nest is one of those really sterile-looking clocks that they had in your high school... just ticking away... You're 29... now you're 30... soon you'll be 40.... The eggs I have left now have at least 12 fingers or two heads. Besides the fact that my next child will probably look like an alien, everyone talks about how much harder it is to have babies in your 30's. True, I won't have much to compare it to, but let's get this show on the road, folks! I've always wanted kids close together too... (mostly so they could entertain eachother and I wouldn't be stuck playing "Dora".) I wanted three or four kids all close together in age. Now we're looking at having two kids at LEAST three years apart.

I think the Big Guy upstairs really knows what he's doing though. He probably reads my blog and sees how incompetent I am and knows that I'll do better with a few years in between the kidlets. I understand. Right now it's just a test of patience! OK Could I BE any more inappropriate? But hey, seriously 10 people even read this blog and they're all close family and friends and it's the only journal I keep and this "infertility" thing occupies a good 75% of my thoughts and it feels good to vent and laugh about it at the same time!!! So send me fertility vibes everyone!!!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Three Days without a shower

Why not confess totally random and disgusting things on my blog? I see no reason not to share the fact that it's 4:40 PM and I don't recall having brushed my teeth yet today. When did I become the crazy person who stays in their gym clothes all day? YIKES. I'll tell you when I became crazy lady... the minute we moved Brighton into her "big girl bed". Right now I'm really regretting not getting a big sheet of plexi-glass, drilling some holes in the top and caging that little girl in the crib. We could add a food bowl, one of those water dispensers and maybe even a wheel she could run around in for exercise.

Another confession: it's now 4:42 PM and Brighton has had like 3 pieces of toast, two bagels and two glasses of apple juice today.

She did have about a 45 minute nap on her floor behind her door but I had to take advantage of that precious time to get some work done! Work is pretty busy these next few days and I'm also getting ready for my parents to come into town so there's just no time for a shower! Most days I have to decide between working during nap time or showering. It's a good thing I only need to wash my hair once a week. Again, why I feel the need to confess these things is beyond me. :)

4:48 PM confession: I'm on my 3rd can of diet Dr. Pepper today.