I'm not the most private person out there. Those years of "Sounds" Musicals and District Musicals, getting dressed in a big room with a bunch of other women made me quite immodest in general. And growing up with my awesome parents and siblings where no subject is "taboo" made me pretty open about my life. I like it that way.
Anyway, so that explains why I want our friends and family to know what we are going through with our infertility issues. Coming up in just a few weeks we're going through with In Vitro. I should know if that's one or two words, but I really don't. So here are my FAQ:
FAQ #1: "Why don't you just 'let your love blossom' and see if you get pregnant on your own?
Answer: While "let your love blossom" is probably the best euphemism I've heard for "doing it" lately, we were told by the fertility specialist that we have a "snowballs chance in hell" of getting pregnant. I've never met a snowball who went to hell and came back to tell the tale, so I'm getting those aren't good odds.
FAQ #2: "Well how did you get pregnant with Brighton then?"
Answer: Who the heck knows? The Dr. guesses that when we got pregnant 3+ years ago, Aaron probably had the minimal number of sperm needed to get pregnant. Probably 20 million or so, and then over the last three years they've just gone down so much and now he literally has about 20. His last sample they found two motile guys. That's also why we're doing it so soon. We really can't wait longer because if his numbers are decreasing that much, there might not be ANY left in a few months, let alone years.
FAQ#3: "So how does it all work?
Answer: Basically I go on all sorts of crazy drugs. Three injectable drugs, two pill forms to make my body produce multiple eggs in one cycle, instead of just one. (Not really produce, but just develop into a mature egg.) So after I've been on the drugs for the set time they'll start doing ultrasounds every day and when all my eggs are mature I go in for an out patient surgery where they take out as many as I have, hopefully 20 or so. Then since Aaron has limited spermies, they'll literally poke a tiny hole in the egg and inject each sperm into each egg. Then they incubate for a few days and then they put them back in me! Yay! Then we just hope they implant to my uterus. That's pretty much the jist of it.
I'll have to be on total bed rest for two days and then modified bed rest for 10 days. If you know me, you know it's really not that hard for me to take it easy so I'm guessing it won't be too bad. :)
This all will happen around the middle of July, so I'll try to keep everyone updated. I'm guessing I'll be partly psycho with all the hormone drugs, so you might want to lend Aaron some support right now! LOL.
Love you all! Please pray for us that this works!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
EW! Spider season
I hate spiders more than almost anything. I know most women, well most people in general, hate spiders but I'd like to say that my hatred for them goes a little deeper than most.
To me, there's nothing scarier than trying to kill a spider and having it escape, only to live another day. In general, I believe they are more afraid of us than we are of them but the tides turn when they survive a homicide attempt. Don't trick yourself into thinking that they just run away. They're still in your house but NOW.... it knows what you look like! It used one of it's 57 eyes to catch a good look. It's going to send a spidey-signal out to all it's eight legged friends that there's a would-be killer on the loose and it's not going down without a fight. That creeps me out big time. I also think it sends out a spidy-signal right before it gets killed (if the shoe makes the connection.)
Once I heard that the average person eats like three spiders a year in their sleep. I can't get it out of my head. Every time I dream about being attacked by spiders (which is probably like once a month) I'm convinced I'm dreaming that because I either ate a spider or am being crawled on by a spider.
I lived in this house in Salt Lake one summer and it was right at the mouth of some canyon. (Don't quiz me on which one) but it was Spiderville. (Oh and I'm also convinced that every spider in my house is a hobo, if it's not a daddy long-leg.) So we had all these hobos everywhere and I had to vacuum every night just to calm my head about spiders but it made it worse because I literally vacuumed up like three spiders a night. My brother-in-law Mike came over and sprayed for spiders for me and I swear more varieties of spiders came out of hiding than I'd ever seen before. I shutter at the thought. One night my roommate came home at like 1:00 a.m. and there I was, huddled on the couch with my knees pulled into my chest because I was too creeped out about the spiders to walk to my bedroom.
Oh, then there was the time this past fall that there was the BIGGEST gi-normous spider EVER by my front door. When I spotted it, it stopped moving and held perfectly still. I swear we were having a standoff... I wasn't moving... he wasn't moving... we were eye to eye. Actually I was clear across the room on a chair. I probably stared that monster down for 20 minutes, trying to get up the courage to put on my boot and stomp on it. Finally I approached... slowly, don't want to startle it... when I got close enough to it I realized that the thing was as huge as giant dead maple leaf! Oh wait, it was a giant, dead maple leaf. See how paranoid I am?
I'm not even going to post a picture of a spider to go along with the post because then I wouldn't be able to open my own blog.
To me, there's nothing scarier than trying to kill a spider and having it escape, only to live another day. In general, I believe they are more afraid of us than we are of them but the tides turn when they survive a homicide attempt. Don't trick yourself into thinking that they just run away. They're still in your house but NOW.... it knows what you look like! It used one of it's 57 eyes to catch a good look. It's going to send a spidey-signal out to all it's eight legged friends that there's a would-be killer on the loose and it's not going down without a fight. That creeps me out big time. I also think it sends out a spidy-signal right before it gets killed (if the shoe makes the connection.)
Once I heard that the average person eats like three spiders a year in their sleep. I can't get it out of my head. Every time I dream about being attacked by spiders (which is probably like once a month) I'm convinced I'm dreaming that because I either ate a spider or am being crawled on by a spider.
I lived in this house in Salt Lake one summer and it was right at the mouth of some canyon. (Don't quiz me on which one) but it was Spiderville. (Oh and I'm also convinced that every spider in my house is a hobo, if it's not a daddy long-leg.) So we had all these hobos everywhere and I had to vacuum every night just to calm my head about spiders but it made it worse because I literally vacuumed up like three spiders a night. My brother-in-law Mike came over and sprayed for spiders for me and I swear more varieties of spiders came out of hiding than I'd ever seen before. I shutter at the thought. One night my roommate came home at like 1:00 a.m. and there I was, huddled on the couch with my knees pulled into my chest because I was too creeped out about the spiders to walk to my bedroom.
Oh, then there was the time this past fall that there was the BIGGEST gi-normous spider EVER by my front door. When I spotted it, it stopped moving and held perfectly still. I swear we were having a standoff... I wasn't moving... he wasn't moving... we were eye to eye. Actually I was clear across the room on a chair. I probably stared that monster down for 20 minutes, trying to get up the courage to put on my boot and stomp on it. Finally I approached... slowly, don't want to startle it... when I got close enough to it I realized that the thing was as huge as giant dead maple leaf! Oh wait, it was a giant, dead maple leaf. See how paranoid I am?
I'm not even going to post a picture of a spider to go along with the post because then I wouldn't be able to open my own blog.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Funny things of the week
Every parent thinks their kids is HI-larious! I realize that... and Aaron and I awknowledge the fact that the things I tell him about Bright everyday that are SO funny to us, really aren't funny. But just when she says a phrase for the first time or does something cute, I don't want to forget! And with Aaron's memory (think Dori from Finding Nemo) I better write a few things down each week so we dont' forget.
Her voice gets all low and manly when she's trying to talk for someone else like her dolly or a toy. It's really bizarre. And her fake drinking noise when we're playing tea party is also manly and it sounds more like "rar rar" in a really low voice.
She gets the questions "How old are you?" and "What is your name?" confused. So someone will say how old are you and she says "Bright Bright, which actually sounds like Bight bight". She has never once referred to herself as Brighton. And now when someone asks her name she says two. So just now she was talking for her Dora doll in her manly voice and I asked Brighton her name and at first she said "two". Then when I asked how old she was she said "Dowa" and I said, "What is your full name?" thinking she would say Dowa the explowa and she said "Dowa Flake". Hee.
So I totally jacked up my foot at the gym and had an ice pack. The next day I was trying to get her to follow me into the other room and all the sudden she saw the melted ice pack and said "Wait, I found something! A bag of water!" It was like her biggest treasure ever.
She's started to call Aaron and me "guys" and if we're even joke fighting or raising our voices she runs in the room and says "Be nice guys!"
Well I had to take a break from blogging right now because we've been potty-training all week and #1 is going GREAT. No accidents for two days and she's going on her own. #2 is a different story. She is totally anti poop on the potty so we have to run what we call "poop patrol" to make sure she's not going in her poop corner where she hides to poop. So I put her down for a nap while I was blogging and I heard the poop grunt. I ran in there as fast as I could but the damage was done. Why oh why child? What is so traumatic about pooping in the potty? We even went to the toy store and picked out this dolly that crawls and coos and it's up on top of the lamp just waiting for her to poop in the potty so she can play with it. It's motion-sensored so everytime a car drives by the thing goes off! She was holding it at the store and kept patting the doll on the head saying "good boy". (totally pink)
Anyway, so I thought maybe I'd make the poop in the panties seem traumatic, so I put her in the tub and the poop got on her leg and on the tub so I was trying to make her wash it for me... totally didn't phase her to wipe the poop off the tub. On one hand- bonus. I have a kid who can clean up her own poop. On the other hand- Dang! I was trying to freak the kid out with her own poop.
Well sorry the poop story took over the funny stories but people who weren't here might find it amusing. :)
I'll try to post some recent pictures soon too. :)
Her voice gets all low and manly when she's trying to talk for someone else like her dolly or a toy. It's really bizarre. And her fake drinking noise when we're playing tea party is also manly and it sounds more like "rar rar" in a really low voice.
She gets the questions "How old are you?" and "What is your name?" confused. So someone will say how old are you and she says "Bright Bright, which actually sounds like Bight bight". She has never once referred to herself as Brighton. And now when someone asks her name she says two. So just now she was talking for her Dora doll in her manly voice and I asked Brighton her name and at first she said "two". Then when I asked how old she was she said "Dowa" and I said, "What is your full name?" thinking she would say Dowa the explowa and she said "Dowa Flake". Hee.
So I totally jacked up my foot at the gym and had an ice pack. The next day I was trying to get her to follow me into the other room and all the sudden she saw the melted ice pack and said "Wait, I found something! A bag of water!" It was like her biggest treasure ever.
She's started to call Aaron and me "guys" and if we're even joke fighting or raising our voices she runs in the room and says "Be nice guys!"
Well I had to take a break from blogging right now because we've been potty-training all week and #1 is going GREAT. No accidents for two days and she's going on her own. #2 is a different story. She is totally anti poop on the potty so we have to run what we call "poop patrol" to make sure she's not going in her poop corner where she hides to poop. So I put her down for a nap while I was blogging and I heard the poop grunt. I ran in there as fast as I could but the damage was done. Why oh why child? What is so traumatic about pooping in the potty? We even went to the toy store and picked out this dolly that crawls and coos and it's up on top of the lamp just waiting for her to poop in the potty so she can play with it. It's motion-sensored so everytime a car drives by the thing goes off! She was holding it at the store and kept patting the doll on the head saying "good boy". (totally pink)
Anyway, so I thought maybe I'd make the poop in the panties seem traumatic, so I put her in the tub and the poop got on her leg and on the tub so I was trying to make her wash it for me... totally didn't phase her to wipe the poop off the tub. On one hand- bonus. I have a kid who can clean up her own poop. On the other hand- Dang! I was trying to freak the kid out with her own poop.
Well sorry the poop story took over the funny stories but people who weren't here might find it amusing. :)
I'll try to post some recent pictures soon too. :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Another Totally Inappropriate Post
Baby-makin'... no way to really talk about it "appropriately" seeing as it involves the "S" word and that Aaron's parents probably read this blog and conceived all their children immaculately. But seriously, my parents did it at least five times (they made the sacrifice because they loved us so much). So we really love Brighton, yadda yada... want to spread the love.. yada... need more babies... but somehow it's been like 14 months and somehow (won't point any fingers, Aaron) the job isn't getting done.Why does it seem more taboo to talk about it if it is the man's "fault". (not blaming you sweetie... ) I know that Aaron wears pink shirts and cares more about a beautiful sunset than he does about March Madness. True he likes snuggling and long walks on the beach but our Dr. has reassured us that his metro-ways are in no way related to his swimmers. (Ouch, did I just hear a shriek of disbelief coming from Arizona?) I know, it's totally inappropriate to talk about my husband's low sperm count on my blog. There. I just said it. Low. Sperm. Count. To be honest, I was flat-out relieved when I found out it was him and not me. I'm sure 20 years down the road all of Bright's crazy antics will easily be pointed in my direction, so it's nice to have some of the pressure off.
But to be serious for a sec, it seriously is a bummer. I picture all my little eggs in my little ovary basket... getting older... shriveling. And on the wall next to their nest is one of those really sterile-looking clocks that they had in your high school... just ticking away... You're 29... now you're 30... soon you'll be 40.... The eggs I have left now have at least 12 fingers or two heads. Besides the fact that my next child will probably look like an alien, everyone talks about how much harder it is to have babies in your 30's. True, I won't have much to compare it to, but let's get this show on the road, folks! I've always wanted kids close together too... (mostly so they could entertain eachother and I wouldn't be stuck playing "Dora".) I wanted three or four kids all close together in age. Now we're looking at having two kids at LEAST three years apart.
I think the Big Guy upstairs really knows what he's doing though. He probably reads my blog and sees how incompetent I am and knows that I'll do better with a few years in between the kidlets. I understand. Right now it's just a test of patience! OK Could I BE any more inappropriate? But hey, seriously 10 people even read this blog and they're all close family and friends and it's the only journal I keep and this "infertility" thing occupies a good 75% of my thoughts and it feels good to vent and laugh about it at the same time!!! So send me fertility vibes everyone!!!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Three Days without a shower
Why not confess totally random and disgusting things on my blog? I see no reason not to share the fact that it's 4:40 PM and I don't recall having brushed my teeth yet today. When did I become the crazy person who stays in their gym clothes all day? YIKES. I'll tell you when I became crazy lady... the minute we moved Brighton into her "big girl bed". Right now I'm really regretting not getting a big sheet of plexi-glass, drilling some holes in the top and caging that little girl in the crib. We could add a food bowl, one of those water dispensers and maybe even a wheel she could run around in for exercise.
Another confession: it's now 4:42 PM and Brighton has had like 3 pieces of toast, two bagels and two glasses of apple juice today.
She did have about a 45 minute nap on her floor behind her door but I had to take advantage of that precious time to get some work done! Work is pretty busy these next few days and I'm also getting ready for my parents to come into town so there's just no time for a shower! Most days I have to decide between working during nap time or showering. It's a good thing I only need to wash my hair once a week. Again, why I feel the need to confess these things is beyond me. :)
4:48 PM confession: I'm on my 3rd can of diet Dr. Pepper today.
Another confession: it's now 4:42 PM and Brighton has had like 3 pieces of toast, two bagels and two glasses of apple juice today.
She did have about a 45 minute nap on her floor behind her door but I had to take advantage of that precious time to get some work done! Work is pretty busy these next few days and I'm also getting ready for my parents to come into town so there's just no time for a shower! Most days I have to decide between working during nap time or showering. It's a good thing I only need to wash my hair once a week. Again, why I feel the need to confess these things is beyond me. :)
4:48 PM confession: I'm on my 3rd can of diet Dr. Pepper today.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Yes, this is a cop-out blog post. 25 random things!
25 Random things and I mean RANDOM
1. I don't think there are 25 interesting things about me, but I am RANDOM by nature, so I'll try.
2. My feet grew 1/2 inch while I was pregnant. I think all my fat squished them out.
3. I really like it when TV shows call themselves "events". Like a premiere event. It makes me feel like I'm all dressed up attending an event, as opposed to what I'm really doing- lounging on the couch in pj's.
4. I think Q and C are wastes of letters. Q could be accomplished with a "kw" I mean you need to pair a U with it anyway and C is really just S or K. Americans are so wasteful.
5. Speaking of waste, I consider myself an environmentalist and do what I can to stay "green" without going over the top.
6. I miss my family so stinking bad it hurts, but love living in Boise.
7. I went to three different BYU's. Idaho, Hawaii and Utah and then did a BYU internship program in New York City
.8. I could probably eat an entire bucket of red vines by myself in about a week's time.
9. I'm addicted to the gym.
10. I RARELY cry and never cry at movies. Sometimes I do cry during books though.
11. Sometimes I miss doing TV news but love staying home with Bright and doing Public Relations.
12. I kill plants. Not on purpose, but I do.
13. I have like 30 purses but always use the same one.
14. I had fish named "Joe Black and Damnit" in college and a lizard named Truman. May they rest in peace.
15. I get a little creeped out when I see Elmo's full body doing something like riding his trike. Can't explain it.
16. I got over my fear of heights by bungee jumping, hang gliding and sky diving.
17. Now about the only thing I'm afraid of is trains and spiders.
18. I overuse the word freaking. What is it, 1999? I also overuse (...)'s. I think they're called elipsis.
19. I've had two Elton John mugs and either lost or broken both of them within 24 hours. I love Sir Elton.
20. I'm really sad about the death of the sit-com. I love sit coms. Really, let's be honest, I love TV.
21. I buy care bears more for myself than for Bright.
22. I CAN'T stay at home all day. I'll make excuses to run errands just to get out of the house.
23. I was a vegetarian for like eight years and now I'm a full-on meat eater.
24. I'm not going to tag anyone in this note because everyone on Facebook has been tagged a billion times.
25. I haven't heard Brighton for a while and she just ran in the room buck-naked. Nice. yay, I'm done!
1. I don't think there are 25 interesting things about me, but I am RANDOM by nature, so I'll try.
2. My feet grew 1/2 inch while I was pregnant. I think all my fat squished them out.
3. I really like it when TV shows call themselves "events". Like a premiere event. It makes me feel like I'm all dressed up attending an event, as opposed to what I'm really doing- lounging on the couch in pj's.
4. I think Q and C are wastes of letters. Q could be accomplished with a "kw" I mean you need to pair a U with it anyway and C is really just S or K. Americans are so wasteful.
5. Speaking of waste, I consider myself an environmentalist and do what I can to stay "green" without going over the top.
6. I miss my family so stinking bad it hurts, but love living in Boise.
7. I went to three different BYU's. Idaho, Hawaii and Utah and then did a BYU internship program in New York City
.8. I could probably eat an entire bucket of red vines by myself in about a week's time.
9. I'm addicted to the gym.
10. I RARELY cry and never cry at movies. Sometimes I do cry during books though.
11. Sometimes I miss doing TV news but love staying home with Bright and doing Public Relations.
12. I kill plants. Not on purpose, but I do.
13. I have like 30 purses but always use the same one.
14. I had fish named "Joe Black and Damnit" in college and a lizard named Truman. May they rest in peace.
15. I get a little creeped out when I see Elmo's full body doing something like riding his trike. Can't explain it.
16. I got over my fear of heights by bungee jumping, hang gliding and sky diving.
17. Now about the only thing I'm afraid of is trains and spiders.
18. I overuse the word freaking. What is it, 1999? I also overuse (...)'s. I think they're called elipsis.
19. I've had two Elton John mugs and either lost or broken both of them within 24 hours. I love Sir Elton.
20. I'm really sad about the death of the sit-com. I love sit coms. Really, let's be honest, I love TV.
21. I buy care bears more for myself than for Bright.
22. I CAN'T stay at home all day. I'll make excuses to run errands just to get out of the house.
23. I was a vegetarian for like eight years and now I'm a full-on meat eater.
24. I'm not going to tag anyone in this note because everyone on Facebook has been tagged a billion times.
25. I haven't heard Brighton for a while and she just ran in the room buck-naked. Nice. yay, I'm done!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Holy Terrible Two's (Out of the gates with a vengeance!)
Holy Moley, I am entirely unprepared for this.
I know "normal" and "good" moms post happy pictures of their kids birthdays.. opening presents, blowing out the candles, the messy chocolate cake face. But I've never claimed to be "good" or even "normal". Here's what I got for ya:
This was literally on her second birthday. It was so ironic (in the Alanis Morrisette, not really ironic but just annoying way) that she acted like this on her birthday. Full on, stomping, screaming, throwing self on the ground tantrums all day. Pulling out one braid, refusing to put on a shirt... The "normal" mom might explain why she was so grumpy but I'm chalking it up to hitting the age of two.
I swear I felt like the paparazzi trying to get pictures of a scantily-clad Brittney having a crazy night on the town. She was trying to hide from me and even tried to push the camera out of her face, but I managed some shots. I was just laughing, which just made her even more mad.
Speaking of laughing when she's mad: I have real issues with this. Last night she was full-on attacking me. Pulling my hair, trying to hit me and I was seriously mad. I busted out my meanest, angriest voice and looked her straight in the eye and told her to STOP!... I was coming as close to yelling as I even can and she just started laughing! It was like this mouth closed, cheeks puffing up, trying to hold it in laughing. I was so mad, yet when she laughs at me I find it funny and it took all my might to hold in my laughter. (It was even harder not to laugh than it was the other night when she grabbed Aaron's "goods" and wouldn't let go. That's the stuff America's Funniest Home Videos is made of.)
She did have an awesome birthday party though, the week after Christmas while we were at Nana's house. She got the coolest-ever remote control pink dinosaur... a bath blizzard https://www.asseenontv.com/offers_on_demand/kidkl_bth_bliz_ood_ontv.html?gid==
which should be sued for false advertising, but fits in with Lynzi's and I's rule to only give "as seen on TV gifts". Also these possessed care bears that communicate with each other (super rad)... and a lot more. My recent favorite is her "felt farm" with all the animals and the farm. I like to try to mess her up by role playing the cow laying the eggs and the chicken being milked. She's already too smart for me though.
I know "normal" and "good" moms post happy pictures of their kids birthdays.. opening presents, blowing out the candles, the messy chocolate cake face. But I've never claimed to be "good" or even "normal". Here's what I got for ya:
This was literally on her second birthday. It was so ironic (in the Alanis Morrisette, not really ironic but just annoying way) that she acted like this on her birthday. Full on, stomping, screaming, throwing self on the ground tantrums all day. Pulling out one braid, refusing to put on a shirt... The "normal" mom might explain why she was so grumpy but I'm chalking it up to hitting the age of two.
I swear I felt like the paparazzi trying to get pictures of a scantily-clad Brittney having a crazy night on the town. She was trying to hide from me and even tried to push the camera out of her face, but I managed some shots. I was just laughing, which just made her even more mad.
Speaking of laughing when she's mad: I have real issues with this. Last night she was full-on attacking me. Pulling my hair, trying to hit me and I was seriously mad. I busted out my meanest, angriest voice and looked her straight in the eye and told her to STOP!... I was coming as close to yelling as I even can and she just started laughing! It was like this mouth closed, cheeks puffing up, trying to hold it in laughing. I was so mad, yet when she laughs at me I find it funny and it took all my might to hold in my laughter. (It was even harder not to laugh than it was the other night when she grabbed Aaron's "goods" and wouldn't let go. That's the stuff America's Funniest Home Videos is made of.)
She did have an awesome birthday party though, the week after Christmas while we were at Nana's house. She got the coolest-ever remote control pink dinosaur... a bath blizzard https://www.asseenontv.com/offers_on_demand/kidkl_bth_bliz_ood_ontv.html?gid==
which should be sued for false advertising, but fits in with Lynzi's and I's rule to only give "as seen on TV gifts". Also these possessed care bears that communicate with each other (super rad)... and a lot more. My recent favorite is her "felt farm" with all the animals and the farm. I like to try to mess her up by role playing the cow laying the eggs and the chicken being milked. She's already too smart for me though.
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